Serial Killer Fun for Kids of All Ages

Tired of buying Barbies, American Girls, and Polly Pockets? Want to give your kids something a little different for their next birthday or holiday? Here are a couple of ideas that even I think might perhaps be over the top. Well, maybe just a little. Perhaps.

The Peek-a-boo Jeffrey Dahmer Slayset

This Jeffrey Dahmer doll is made by Demented Dollz company and sold complete with dismembered victims, toothpicks, and a handy dandy hazardous waste disposal tin (never know when you’re going to need one). Zip open Jeffrey’s orange prison jump suit to reveal Cleotus, an anonymous dismembered victim who can be removed from Dahmer’s stomach and reattached. The quote on the package says “Open me up for a sure delight, and see who I ate for dinner last night.” Yum.

The hazardous waste disposable tin is loaded with body parts, some skewered with toothpicks, and others that glow in the dark. “Body parts vary from set to set depending on morgue availability.”

It’s “a 2 foot tall cannibal collector’s dream.”

Satin Strangler Seduction and Destruction Doll

Move over American Girls. Here comes a doll like no other that you’ve seen before. It’s your own actual size Destiny Blande, complete with an assortment of stockings, veils, and scarves, plus a bonus knife holster garter belt for good measure.

Pull the string in her back and she talks to you. What will she say? “Let’s go someplace where we can be alone . . . Let’s tie each other up, okay? You first . . . I’ll take your breath away.”

Other accessories are sold separately. Who wouldn’t want the Satin Strangler’s favorite traveling trunk? Wrap your other dolls in her satin stockings and put them inside. See how long it takes your police dolls to find them.


If you’re Crazy 4 Crazies, hurry and get these two dolls and add them to your Serial Killer collection. Limited production has made them a rare find and immediate collectors’ items.

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Serial Killer Bedtime Stories: Wayne Williams

Tonight's bedtime story is about Wayne Williams.

Suspected of being the Atlanta Child Murderer, Wayne killed mostly young, black boys and dumped their bodies in the Chattahoochee River. He was caught when he departed from his modus operandi and smoked a couple of adults. When he was arrested Wayne was described as the "Pillsbury Doughboy." Unlike many other serial killers, he was soft-spoken, mild-mannered and friendly.

His thick glasses, soft features and delicate hands made him an unlikely candidate for comitting 28 murders. Many black leaders characterized his arrest as being racial in nature. However, as his trial progressed, Wayne emerged as a person emotionally capable of murder with an "inadequate personality" and an "obsessive need for control." Though at first he presented himself as an innocent victim of circumstance who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, when FBI agents searched the home he shared with his retired-schoolteacher parents, they found books on how to cheat polygraph tests as well as the crucial fiber evidence that eventually linked him to 12 murders.

After his arrest the killings ceased for a period, or so did police say. Some police say evidence against him was flawed and believe the case should be reopened. Williams' lawyer claimed a Klansman named Charles Sanders confessed to the police that he helped the KKK kidnap and murder 21 black children. Allegedly, this evidence was suppressed to avoid a race war.

John Douglas, the FBI agent whose profile led to Wayne's arrest, believes he was probably one of four killers active in the area. Douglas believes that evidence links Williams to at most 12 murders. According to the retired Federal agent, there are still black children being murdered in Atlanta and local authorities -- scared of what they might uncover -- are trying to keep a lid on it.

On June 5, 1998, two investigators of the widely publicized Atlanta missing and murdered children cases said again they believe convicted killer Wayne Williams is innocent. DeKalb County Sheriff Sidney Dorsey and Fulton County Police Chief Louis Graham, both Atlanta police homicide investigators at the time the rash of killings occurred in the early 1980s, made the assertions on "Dateline NBC." The state has also introduced evidence of 10 other murders, for which Williams was never indicted. Police ultimately blamed him for 24 deaths.

Williams was convicted of murder in the deaths of Nathaniel Cater, 27, and Jimmy Ray Payne 21, two of 29 young Atlanta blacks murdered between 1979 and 1981. Williams was convicted of two of the homicides, but 22 others were closed after his conviction; five cases remain open.

After the conviction, authorities blamed Williams, who is black, for 22 other slayings but never charged him. Five of the 29 murders investigated by a special police task force remain officially open. The 41-year-old freelance photographer and talent scout was convicted in 1982 and sentenced to two life terms.

Williams became a suspect in the string of murders in May 1981 when police staking out a bridge over the Chattahoochee River -- where some of the victims' bodies had been found -- heard a splash and stopped Williams as he drove away. Two days later, the body of Cater was found downstream.

The main prosecution evidence against Williams was tiny fibers found on the bodies and matched to rugs and other fabrics in the home and cars of Williams' parents. His attorney said he is pushing for DNA testing to set him free after 18 years in prison. Lawyer Lynn Whatley said he is trying to raise the money to have tests--using advances in the science--conducted on hair and blood that linked Williams to two murders.

Sweet dreams, and may you forever remain Crazy 4 Crazies.

Look-Alike Service

Okay Satin Strangler fans. We’ve got the recipe for a once-in-a-lifetime bachelor bash. Who needs to go to Las Vegas now? Just make a call to the Destiny Blande Look-Alike Service and let them take care of the rest. Here’s their ad:

Looking for a once in a lifetime job? Want to find a truly unique career opportunity? Want to make hundreds of dollars in your spare time?

Destiny Blande Look-Alike Service is searching for young, talented, beautiful women. An exact match is not necessary. Come in with what you’ve got, and we will do the rest. With our makeup, hairstyling, and costumes, you can become somebody’s Destiny.

Destiny Blande look-alikes are the highlight of any event, whether it’s a birthday, an anniversary, or a bachelor party.

Imagine the look on the groom’s face when he realizes you are his Destiny. Tie him up or tie him down. Tease him by twirling your satin stockings around his neck. With a little improvisation, you’ll take his breath away.

We provide unmatched starting salaries with full medical and dental benefits, and think of all the money you’ll make on tips. Please visit our offices in New York, Philadelphia, or Atlantic City, or our home office in Sea View to apply today.

Destiny Blande Look-Alike Service is an equal opportunity employer.

C’mon, ladies. We know that deep down you want to be Destiny Blande. There is a rising need for this service out there. I only regret that I didn’t think of starting this business. The customers are lining up. Go for it. You’ll love this one if you’re really Crazy 4 Crazies.

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This is post #63 in The Satin Strangler Blogs (TSSB).

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Satin Strangler Victim's Autopsy

How close do you want to get to a serial killer victim? How about right inside the autopsy room? Well, we can’t quite give you that, but today’s blog is the next best thing for you – a coroner’s report from a Satin Strangler victim, Grant Leighton. If you’re really Crazy 4 Crazies, you’ll devour this.


EXTERNAL EXAMINATION:

The autopsy is started at 8:30 A.M. on March 5, 2008. The body is received in a black travelling trunk covered with dry flecks of seaweed. Upon removal from the trunk, an odor of bleach was detected, suggesting attempts to remove DNA evidence. Areas of the body were swabbed and submitted for detection of hypochlorite.

The victim was fully clothed. The body is that of a normally developed white male measuring 70 inches and weighing 183 pounds, and appearing generally consistent with the stated age of twenty-six years. The body is cold and unembalmed. Lividity is fixed in the distal portions of the limbs. Petechial hemorrhaging is present in the conjunctival surfaces of the eyes. The irises are blue. The pupils measure 0.3 cm. The hair is dark blonde, wavy, and approximately 8 inches in length at the longest point. A healed left ear piercing scar is present.

Abrasions and adhesive residue extend laterally from each commissure of the lips, suggesting that the victim had been gagged, possibly with duct tape. Samples were collected for testing.

A ligature mark (known throughout this report as Ligature A) was observed on the victim’s neck. The mark is dark red and encircles the neck, crossing the anterior midline of the neck just below the laryngeal prominence. The width of the Ligature A is 0.6 cm consistently around the circumference, and is horizontal in orientation. The skin of the anterior neck above and below Ligature A shows petechial hemorrhaging. Abrasions are also present. The consistent width of Ligature A and the presence of abrasions suggest the use of a firm ligature such as a cord. No trace evidence was recovered from Ligature A that might assist in identification of the ligature used.

Additional dark red ligature marks 5 cm in width are present on the left wrist, right wrist, left ankle, and right ankle (known throughout this report as Ligatures B, C, D, and E, respectively). Evidence of adhesive residue at all four Ligatures B-E suggests the use of duct tape. Samples were collected for testing.

Both small fingers have been amputated at the proximal interphalangeal level, with the bone exposed. Jagged surface edges suggest the use of a dull cutting instrument. Both forearms are edemic and hemorrhagic, indicative of pre-mortem trauma. The fingernails are medium length and fingernail beds are blue.

The genitalia are that of an adult male and there is no evidence of injury or recent sexual activity. Limbs are symmetrically developed. There are no other scars, markings or tattoos on the body.


INTERNAL EXAMINATION:

Head: Subsequent autopsy shows a broken hyoid bone. Hemorrhaging from Ligature A penetrates the skin and subdermal tissues of the neck. The brain weighs 1,257 grams, with no anatomic abnormalities noted.

Skeletal System: The hyoid bone is fractured. The left and right radius and ulna are fractured. The small fingers have been amputated as noted previously.

Respiratory System: Petechial hemorrhaging is present in the mucosa of the lips and the interior of the mouth. The hyoid bone, the thyroid, and the cricoid cartilages are fractured. The lungs are unremarkable. Weight: right, 380 grams; left 392 grams.

Cardiovascular System: Heart, 270 grams. No anatomic abnormalities noted.

Gastrointestinal System: Approximately 125 ml of partially digested semisolid food is found in the stomach. No anatomic abnormalities noted.

Urinary System: Left kidney, 120 grams; right kidney, 124 grams. No anatomic abnormalities noted.

Male Genital System: There is no evidence of recent sexual activity. No anatomic abnormalities noted.


LABORATORY FINDINGS:

Toxicologic analysis from samples of right pleural blood and bile: negative.

Cerebrospinal fluid culture and sensitivity: unremarkable gram stain, no growth

Cerebrospinal fluid bacterial antigens: routine testing all negative

Drug Screen Results:

Urine screen {Immunoassay} was negative.

Ethanol: 0.25 gm/dl, Blood (heart)

Ethanol: 0.25 gm/dl, Vitreous

EVIDENCE COLLECTED:

One (1) white long-sleeve shirt.

One (1) pair gray pants.

One (1) pair black socks.

One (1) pair black shoes.

Samples of Blood (type O+), Bile, and Tissue (heart, lung, brain, kidney, liver, spleen).

Twelve (12) swabs from various body locations, to be tested for presence of hypochlorite.

Seventeen (17) autopsy photographs.

One postmortem CT scan.

One postmortem MRI.

OPINION:

Time of Death: Body temperature, rigor and livor mortis, and stomach contents approximate the time of death between 3AM and 6AM on March 2, 2008.

Immediate Cause of Death: Asphyxia due to ligature strangulation (Ligature A).

Manner of Death: Homicide

Remarks: Local homicide detectives were immediately notified of these findings.

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This is post #61 in The Satin Strangler Blogs (TSSB).

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Serial Killer Bedtime Stories: Patrick W. Kearney

Tonight's serial killer bedtime story is about Patrick W. Kearney.

The top ranked Californian freeway killer. A fastidiously neat and organized murderer, Pat left his dismembered victims neatly wrapped in trash bags along the Californian highways. Kearney and his live-in lover, David D. Hill, both army veterans, lived in a meticulously clean bachelor pad in Redondo Beach, from where they launched their homicidal escapades. The "Trash Bag Murders," as they were known, started in 1975 and ended on July 5, 1977, when the couple walked into the Sheriff's Information Center in Riverside, saw a wanted poster of themselves and surrendered. Hill was subsequently released for lack of evidence. Kearney shouldered the guilt and confessed that killing "excited him and gave him a feeling of dominance."

Sweet dreams, and may you forever remain Crazy 4 Crazies.

Serial Killer Bedtime Stories: Karl Denke

There is a lot of room at the inn in tonight's serial killer bedtime story about Karl Denke.

A German innkeeper in Silesia with a taste for the "long pig," Denke butchered at least thirty of his lodgers and kept their pickled remains in the basement of his inn. An avid church-goer who was known locally as "Papa," Karl especialized in slaying beggars, tramps and journeymen who would not be missed. When he was arrested in 1924 he told police that for the past three years he had eaten only sausages made of human flesh.

Sweet dreams, and may you forever remain Crazy 4 Crazies.

Serial Killer Bedtime Stories: Gerard John Schaefer

Shaefer, the one killer to have when you're killing more than 1, is the lead character in tonight's serial killer bedtime story.

This homicidal Martin County, Florida, deputy sheriff, though convicted in 1973 of only two mutilation murders, is believed to be responsible for at least thirty killings. A sadistic sex-beast by nature, Schaefer would lure young women off the roads with the help of his badge to torture, mutilate and murder. He enjoyed tying his victims to trees and leaving them there while he went to work as a police officer. Teeth, jewelry identification papers from several missing young women were found in a closet in his mother's house in Ft. Lauderdale.

When he was convicted for first degree murder of two teen-aged girls, Schaefer's wife divorced him and promptly married his defense attorney. Not the resentful type, Gerard gave the lovebirds his blessing and retained the attorney to continue handling his appeals. Curiously, he was later tried for plotting to kill them both and enjoyed sending them death threats regularly.

Schaefer was also a part-time novelist, penning a lurid collection of tales of sexualized violence called "Killer Fiction" -- available from Feral House -- that was published in 1989 by Sondra London, an old high school sweetheart, who subsequently "shackled up" with Danny Rolling, another sadistic killer awaiting execution in Florida.

On December 3, 1995, Gerard was found dead in his cell at the Florida State Prison in Starke. He had been stabbed 42 times about the head and neck, and slashed across his throat. His sister, Sarah Schaefer, claimed that her brother was murdered by his jailhouse buddy, cannibal killer Ottis Toole, because of information he had obtained on the murder of Adam Walsh, the 6-year-old Hollywood, Florida, boy whose abduction and murder led to the passing of new legislation nationwide regarding missing children. Ottis once claimed he killed young Adam but later recanted. Prison authorities believe Gerard's death was linked to his activities as a jailhouse lawyer. However, confessed double-slayer Vincent Rivera is currently facing trial for murdering Schaefer, allegedly because Schaefer used the last of the hot drinking water on the tier.

Sweet dreams, and may you forever remain Crazy 4 Crazies.