Internet Murder

Remember the old days before computers when you used to have to do everything the hard way? If you wanted to learn something about a fact you had to look it up in the Encyclopedia Britannica. If you wanted to meet new people you had to leave your home and seek them out. If you wanted to get work done you had to dress up in a suit and drive all the way to the office.

Now we live in a world where everything is at our fingertips, thanks to the computerized world of technology. Every piece of information and every answer to every question are just a couple of keystrokes away through a Google search. Anything we want can be found online, from books to collectibles to friends.

The Internet opens up endless possibilities for an entrepreneurial spirit. Just about any product can be sold online. Any service can be identified through Internet resources.

Why should serial murder be any different? Remember the days when serial murderers used to tirelessly stalk their victims before finding them at a vulnerable time and location? What a hassle it was. So inefficient. If only there was a better way . . . but now there is. It’s all at your fingertips in the form of a computer and the internet.

Now with just a little bit of creative work, an innovative serial killer can spend his (or her) stalking time at home lying on the couch watching reality show reruns while the victims come to him (or her). What could be more efficient than that?

Philip Markoff, a 22-year-old Boston University medical student, was recently arrested under accusation of being the Craigslist Killer. Markoff, a clean-cut “boy-next-door” type, was engaged to be married to his fiancée on the beach in Long Branch, New Jersey. In his spare time he trolled the web under the username “sexaddict53885” and “sexaddict 5385.” Now he is accused of bludgeoning and shooting a female escort at the Marriott Copley Plaza Hotel in Boston, robbing a prostitute at gunpoint at another Boston hotel, and assaulting an exotic dancer at a hotel in Rhode Island. He reportedly found these women through classified ads on Craigslist, the on-line bulletin board website service.

What's next? Could it be possible that the entire serial murder process could someday be done online? Have you played the ME2 Satin Strangler serial killer challenge yet? Pretend you’re Destiny Blande through a computer simulation. You can kill without even leaving your living room.

What would happen to the serial killer support industry if such a change occurred? Would they continue to make biohazard canisters and oversized double ply Hefty bags? Is it time to sell our stock in duct tape and nylon cord companies?

Of course I jest. What’s the fun if you can’t get your hands a little dirty?

In any case, Philip Markoff at least proved that the internet is good for victim recruiting if you’re Crazy 4 Crazies.

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